The Isolation Journals: Inside Seeing

Day 6 of The Isolation Journals. Something happened that night that I haven’t experienced since my active reiki days. Something mundanely mystical.

After my hundredth night struggling with sleep, I began lurking around Reddit more frequently. I chanced upon some meditation recos and mentally listed some to try over quarantine. I was being battered by tension migraines every night, so a “progressive muscle relaxation” exercise seemed in order.

Something happened that night that I haven’t experienced since my active reiki days. Something mundanely mystical. I don’t talk about those experiences very much, much less blog about them, so here goes.

I slowed my breathing and closed my eyes, bringing my attention to my feet, where the pain was. Very suddenly, in a way that was neither predictable nor shocking, I could picture a luminous being next to my bed.

This was the second time a luminous being has appeared in my meditation. The first time, there were more of them and they actually arrived midway.

The figure standing next to my bed was shaped like a person, except made entirely of glowing cool light. It was a very faded mental image or a memory; it wasn’t clear or solid at all, so I knew I was only visualizing it. Still, it was there, standing next to my bed and facilitating my healing.

It (or they?) felt more earthly than angels,* though at some point I did wonder if it was a deity, a spirit guide or a messenger of some kind. At some moments, it appeared to become smaller. I thought it might be my inner child—which would be strange and ironic because the inner child is typically the one who needs healing.

Anyway, the meditation went on. I breathed. I let waves of relaxation wash over me slowly, bit by bit, as the luminous held its hands over my pain.

For once, I tried not to force any meaning out of it. (Sorry, if you look forward to my overphilosophizing. Ha.) I tried not to expect too much either, as if it would in any way heal me or change the way my life is going. I just trusted that the being was good, felt grateful for its visit, and tried to get some sleep.

I did.

*I’ve never encountered angels, but I imagined it would be overwhelming.

“The Isolation Journals” started as a 30-day quarantine creativity project. It was created by the brilliant Suleika Jaouad for the challenging occasion that is COVID-19. A different journaling prompt landed in my inbox every day for the month of April 2020, each one from a different writer, artist, musician or thinker. As the global situation expanded, so too did the journaling project.

Today’s prompt, which was one of my favorites, is from writer and singer-songwriter, Alexa Wildling, and her clever seven-year-old son Lou, a cancer survivor.

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